How To Survive In A Zombie Apocalypse (And How Not To)

This question was asked by a colleague (let’s call him Jakarta) late this afternoon at the office. Naturally, I took it upon me to give my most serious answer.

I’m a pretty big fan of The Walking Dead (which isn’t a “zombie show” by the way, it’s a show about people struggling to survive in very challenging conditions, okay? There just happens to be shit-loads of zombies contributing to the challenging conditions. Also, after a while it’s actually people who are the real danger, and not the undead, since people are just the worst. Anyway, time to leave the parenthesis now before you get too bored) so I’m familiar with some of the ways people try to survive a zombie apocalypse.

By the way, I hate it when people say, “but it’s a zombie show” like that would be a bad thing. I’m totally on the defensive now. Time to get my head back in the game.

Here’s my answer to the question: 

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