What the hell am I doing here?
– Well, you’re obviously avoiding doing whatever important stuff you’re supposed to be doing right now. Instead, you’re here, reading this and asking attitude-filled questions.
And who the hell are you?
– Forget about me––what’s going on with you?
– *Awkwardly, creepily and quietly staring back at you, not blinking once and never breaking eye contact*
Okay… So what’s this “blog” about?
– This blog is the product of a variety of factors.
– Ha. You said “ass”.
Ugh. You’re ridiculous.
– Go to hell.
– No, please stay, don’t leave me.
– Cool. I love you.
Don’t push it.