The World’s Smallest Violin is Playing Just for Me

“Gratuity”, also known as “tip”, is defined like this:

gratuity

noun – gra·tu·ity – \grə-ˈtü-ə-tē, -ˈtyü-\

Something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service; see tip

Example of gratuity in a sentence:

A 15 percent gratuity is automatically added to the restaurant bill.

Related words:

donation, gift, present; bonus, favour, reward; contribution, offering

                               

Today over lunch, I had an interesting discussion with some of my colleagues – NorwayJakarta and the just-now introduced Manila – regarding the insane and somehow also non-existent rules about tipping.

In my world – in an ideal world – a tip symbolises that a paying customer is so satisfied with the service that has been provided for him or her in various situations in life that he or she is willing to pay more than the actual price. So far, it seems like my views are backed up by Merriam-Webster’s definition above. Comforting.

For instance, people I think we’d all happily agree deserve a nice tip, if good service has been performed, could be:

  • Waiters and waitresses in restaurants who actually know stuff about what’s on their menus, and can recommend good shit that go together nicely with other good shit
  • Non-jerk cab drivers who don’t rip you off, drive comfortably, and know the quickest way to your destination
  • That hotel dude who’s struggling to carry your ridiculously overpacked and intensely heavy bag up to your room. Also, every time your bag is ridiculously overpacked and intensely heavy, the hotel in question is almost always not really a hotel, but a resort or another establishment that doesn’t really believe in elevators

These cases are normal, tip-wise.

But, there’s a major dependent variable here. Let’s consult the homemade equation I just made up to see if we can find it:

Service Performed + Nicely Done = Tip is Deserved

Interesting.

It would seem like a tip is appropriate only when a service has been performed in a nicely (satisfactory) manner.

But wait, there’s more.

The Plot Thickens

If you remove the Service Performed part of the equation, there wouldn’t be any need for a tip – in fact, there wouldn’t even be anything to tip.

It would also seem like the Nicely Done part is significant, because a service performed just for the sake of performing it would mean that the person performing the service has barely put in any extra effort in making you, the customer, feel extra satisfied and inclined to reward him/her.

If you go to your barber or hairdresser and they greet you with a smile, make pleasant, comfortable conversation while you’re just awkwardly kinda sitting there while their touching your hair, they offer you a water or a coffee, and they give you solid recommendations regarding styles and products, they would sure as hell deserve a tip. They’ve not only done their job, they’ve done it in a very impressive (“nicely” on steroids) manner. Tip fucking deserved.

However.

Continue reading “The World’s Smallest Violin is Playing Just for Me”

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My Visit to a Store Called Pink Pvssy

Hello, there. I’m now kind of exactly six months into blogging, and it’s probably safe to say that I’m a pretty infrequent and irregular blogger. Although, I still like to write complete gibberish and utter nonsense on this site every now and then, and I don’t mind sharing the inevitable head-scratching observations a 20-something Swedish man living in Southeast Asia is bound to experience. And I’m still trying to maintain an anonymous identity, living under the impression that anyone would really give a shit.

Anyway, I don’t really have a general goal, aim, direction or ambition with my blog other than that it’s fun to write, to interact with other bloggers in the blogosphere, and to read other bloggers’ stuff. That being said, I still have some topics I would really like to explore in the future; for instance, some science-related posts, faith-related posts, posts about religion and the meaning of life, about human relationships and our oftentimes questionable and ridiculous behaviour. But since those topics are kinda serious and take a lot of time to write, let alone to research beforehand, I’ve been pushing them further and further into the future since I don’t wanna ruin them. Also, I kinda want future-me to worry about those posts and leave present-me free to resort to other, pointless activities. The posts I’ve written so far, I’ve written kinda spontaneously without really thinking. So, until I decide to start to write like an adult about important things, you’ll have to deal with my braindead topics and ho-hum posts.

Today’s one is a new low. Here we go.


 

So there’s a store called Pink Pvssy

Just before I started to write this post, I had made some scaldingly hot, massively boiling tea. I poured it into a cup, put it next to my bed, got into my writer’s position, placed the laptop in my lap, and reached for the cup.

As soon as my finger surrounded the ear on the cup like a snake with an epic chokehold, I, for some reason, regretted my decision and immediately pushed the glass away from me. Then, while letting go of the cup, I regretted that decision, and unintelligently decided that, yes, I wanted the tea after all. Obviously, I made a wonderful mess, stained the new, white bed sheets, sighed in defeat while life was laughing at me, and briefly pondered what I really had accomplished so far in my life.

Anyway.

I’ve mentioned that I’ve lived in Thailand for some time now – one year and six weeks to be precise – and I’ve kind of hinted that it could be a pretty strange and freaky place if you’re not born and/or raised here.

You want an example? I thought so.

While following my girlfriend around like a dog on one of her insane shopping sprees, we found ourselves inside an accessories store disturbingly and unexplainably called Pink Pvssy.

pp
Yup, this is it.

Not only is the name absolutely ridiculous, the store was also in possession of some really, really weird merchandise. In no particular order, here are nine:

Continue reading “My Visit to a Store Called Pink Pvssy”