Hello, there. I’m now kind of exactly six months into blogging, and it’s probably safe to say that I’m a pretty infrequent and irregular blogger. Although, I still like to write complete gibberish and utter nonsense on this site every now and then, and I don’t mind sharing the inevitable head-scratching observations a 20-something Swedish man living in Southeast Asia is bound to experience. And I’m still trying to maintain an anonymous identity, living under the impression that anyone would really give a shit.
Anyway, I don’t really have a general goal, aim, direction or ambition with my blog other than that it’s fun to write, to interact with other bloggers in the blogosphere, and to read other bloggers’ stuff. That being said, I still have some topics I would really like to explore in the future; for instance, some science-related posts, faith-related posts, posts about religion and the meaning of life, about human relationships and our oftentimes questionable and ridiculous behaviour. But since those topics are kinda serious and take a lot of time to write, let alone to research beforehand, I’ve been pushing them further and further into the future since I don’t wanna ruin them. Also, I kinda want future-me to worry about those posts and leave present-me free to resort to other, pointless activities. The posts I’ve written so far, I’ve written kinda spontaneously without really thinking. So, until I decide to start to write like an adult about important things, you’ll have to deal with my braindead topics and ho-hum posts.
Today’s one is a new low. Here we go.
So there’s a store called Pink Pvssy
Just before I started to write this post, I had made some scaldingly hot, massively boiling tea. I poured it into a cup, put it next to my bed, got into my writer’s position, placed the laptop in my lap, and reached for the cup.
As soon as my finger surrounded the ear on the cup like a snake with an epic chokehold, I, for some reason, regretted my decision and immediately pushed the glass away from me. Then, while letting go of the cup, I regretted that decision, and unintelligently decided that, yes, I wanted the tea after all. Obviously, I made a wonderful mess, stained the new, white bed sheets, sighed in defeat while life was laughing at me, and briefly pondered what I really had accomplished so far in my life.
I’ve mentioned that I’ve lived in Thailand for some time now – one year and six weeks to be precise – and I’ve kind of hinted that it could be a pretty strange and freaky place if you’re not born and/or raised here.
You want an example? I thought so.
While following my girlfriend around like a dog on one of her insane shopping sprees, we found ourselves inside an accessories store disturbingly and unexplainably called Pink Pvssy.
Not only is the name absolutely ridiculous, the store was also in possession of some really, really weird merchandise. In no particular order, here are nine:
1. Backpack Faces
These are backpacks and purses, with animals’ faces printed on them. You know, I’d usually say that clothes and accessories are designed to look somewhat good on us humans, but I really can’t see how or why anyone would find these ones appealing. Even the sad-looking dog in the top center agrees with me. Also, I realised that if you stare at them for too long, they’ll start to freak you out and possibly haunt you in your sleep.
2. Skull Purses
Oh, nothing weird going on here – just some skull purses. Perfect for a buzzing night out on town, when you wanna make a good, lasting, first impression on a first date, or simply when you just can’t resist to express your insane, undercover personality bubbling beneath the surface.
3. Hamburger Key Rings
I know you’ve been looking everywhere for a hamburger key ring. A very practical and convenient thing to carry around in your pocket, and obviously very fashionable.
4. Bra Purses
Some more purses, all designed after female body parts. I really don’t have any further comments on this one.
5. Sushi USB Flash Drive
A fucking sushi usb, man! This item is fantastic, and I must have one. This wonderful invention is clearly my favourite of all the insane things I found in this store, despite very poor competition. Let’s not discuss the sexually aroused dog in the top right corner.
6. Dolls Made of Condoms
This is not from Pink Pvssy, but from the famous restaurant Cabbages and Condoms where you’re greeted by a pair of dolls(?) dressed in nothing but condoms. I believe one of this restaurant’s goals is to donate some of their profit to AIDS/HIV research, or something similarly good-natured. Still, despite their very honourable reasoning, it’s a weird thing to see and, fuck it, it makes the list.
7. Wart Ring
Any thoughts on this ring that resembles some kind of a skin disease? Who would wear this? Where would one wear this? When would anyone wear this? Why would anyone ever wear this zombie-skinny ring? Beats me.
8. The “Toys” That Kept Me Entertained For An Embarrassingly Long Time
These awesome little inventions were the main recipients of my attention while my girlfriend was looking at other things in the store. I think I turned each and every one of them upside down at least once, staring at the magic liquid inside while it worked its way down to the bottom. Fascinating. I need some of those in my life on a regular basis. Let’s not point out that the 9-year-old boy across from me was about half as excited as I was.
9. Some Shiny Aladdin Eggs
Not sure why I took this photo, why I even uploaded it here, or what the hell those things are. I don’t even know what to comment, so I’ll just leave it here since the items are kind of shiny and look like something you’d find in an Aladdin movie.