Stuff and Things I Don’t Really Get

I am back in my home country since Sunday, and have been quite busy the last week or so. Consequently, this has made the blog postless for some time, and I find this unacceptable. And you find this unacceptable, and you now also find me disgusting for making you wait this long for a new low quality post. Much to our delight, I found this post in my draft folder, and I now decide to post it, somewhat incomplete. I suspect that “Stuff and Things I Don’t Really Get” will turn into a series of sorts, since there are many stuff and things that I don’t really get in our little world. 


 

Our polluted, warmongering, Kim Kardashian-admiring world is filled with little wonders, intriguing mysteries, and other things that are related to little wonders and intruiging mysteries. This is all fun and games, and the world needs things like that––especially since our world is polluted, filled with war, and people who like the Kardashians. Anyway.

Once in a while, seemingly understandable things happen to you. You notice patterns. You apply logic to things. You rationalize. Things start to make sense. Right?

Wrong.

I’m feeling a bit frustrated tonight, and I need to get some stuff off of my chest.

So, I thought I’d compose a post consisting of things that I don’t understand, and I timely decide to do this when I’m hungry as hell, feeling crankier than ever.

(Obviously, my current mood has something everything to do with me being incredibly hungry right now, on the verge of eating toothpaste, having just ordered pizza from Domino’s, and, like the wait for the pizza wasn’t already excruciating enough, the little lady over att Domino’s just called me and said that the pizza would take 45 minutes to arrive at my door, instead of the usual 30. Ugh. My life is the worst.)

So. Let’s dive into some things that I really don’t understand or stuff that I find annoying as hell. Here we go:

– I really don’t understand how people walk here in Bangkok. There you are, walking down the street, minding your own business, and if you’re a normal person, you’re walking in a straight line. Should you walk faster than somebody in front of you, the logical thing would be to walk around that person, and then reposition yourself in front of said person, and continue to walk in said straight line. Here (Bangkok), on the other hand, it is common practice for Thais to somehow always foresee when I’m trying to walk around and ahead of them and all of a sudden for no apparent reason they’d just change directions, blocking me. It’s not like an obstacle suddenly appeared in front of them or anything––they simply just decide to take one timely step sideways as soon as I try to walk past them. And they can’t even see me, since I’m behind them. I don’t understand how they do it. It’s quite impressive when I think about it. It’s also very annoying.

– I don’t understand how I can sometimes be more tired from sleeping 9 hours on a weekend, than sleeping like 3 or 4 after a night out with colleagues on a work day.

– I don’t understand people not liking or talking about Sriracha more than they do. It’s like nobody’s talking about it at all. Unnatural.

– I don’t understand how the US differentiate from almost all other countries when it comes to so many things. For example; sports in general, but football in particular. I think all other countries on this planet mean football when they say football. The Americans, they think it’d be clever to go against everyone else and call it soccer for no apparent reason. And then, let’s name the game where you have like two kicks per game “football” instead.

Also, why does the US not use the metric system like everyone else? Alright, not everyone else––The US have great company here in the form of Myanmar and Liberia.

I’m all for doing your own thing and not following the crowd for the sake of it, but come on.

– I don’t understand how people can’t tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi.

– I don’t understand racism.

– I don’t understand how my pizza isn’t even here yet.

– I don’t understand how it’s possible to have that many racists in a group for foreigners in Thailand. See, I’m a member of this group on Facebook called “this nationality in Thailand”. Sometimes, useful things are posted, which are good for me to know about. But sometimes, that group is flooded with news articles from racist newspapers where they claim that there are too many immigrants in our country, but they (the people in this group) fucking live in someone else’s country! 

I don’t understand how you can have a head that thick and not fall over when you lean over to tie your shoes.

– I don’t understand how it’s possible that for every roach you see in an apartment, there are 99 more crawling inside the walls.

– I don’t understand why I’m reminding myself of this knowledge.

– I don’t understand why some Thai people continue to talk to me in Thai when it’s painfully obvious that I don’t speak Thai. Even if I would’ve learnt to say “I don’t speak Thai” in Thai, they would take that as I in fact did speak Thai, and they’d continue to explain something to me that I didn’t need explained. In Thai.

– I don’t understand how a cologne or perfume is more appropriate “in the summer” or “in the winter”. Also, how can certain colours of clothes be better in different seasons of the year? Are there rules for this? Sure, a yellow shirt is probably more summer-y than winter-y, but still. There are some dark forces around deciding things like these, and I am ridiculously clueless in these matters.

– I don’t understand how it’s possible for my watch to almost always show me either 13.37 or 14.08. This happens freakishly often, and it’s weird. 13.37 was the name of a team in our old amateur football league, and it’s also some kind of hacker code for the word “elite”. And 1408 was the name of that mysterious movie starring John Cusack. Ever since I saw that, I always see 14.08 on my watch. Everytime this happens, I feel like I’m being watched by an evil spirit that tries to send me a message, and I usually feel cold shivers down the spine. It’s not nice.

– I don’t understand why I have written “zombieoso” in my Evernote-notes. I just looked at this Spanish-looking and mysterious word, made a confused face, and let my brain do its very best to remember what the fuck I was trying to make future-me remember when past-me wrote that shit down. And I was quite letdown by myself when I couldn’t crack it, especially since all that hard thinking of mine made my surroundings smell like something was burning. So I googled it––and nothing came up. At least nothing I’d feel was worth writing down to bring up in a blogpost. Inexplainable and insane human behaviour.

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