Shit Happens

I have always been very fond of quotes.

Not those lame ones on Facebook or Instagram where you’re not even sure if they’re legit. Unfortunately, those are everywhere, and often offer non-existent inspiration for me.

Since I know you are too lazy to spend two seconds of your little life to click on the little link right above, here’s a little photo of what you’d have seen if you had been a good little friend and did what I asked you to do:

“LOL, I totally never said that.” – Abe
Image source: http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/dont-believe-everything-you-see-on-the-internet.jpg

These are not the ones I mean.

 

What I’m talking about are quotes that you hear in everyday life that you think are kind of awesome and really inspire you, make you think twice about something, or simply are just fun.

These have occurred to me hundreds of times––I’ll hear a super cool quote and think, “yeah, this quote was kind of cool and rad and I will live my life by this quote from now on and I will tell everyone about how cool and rad this quote is and then they could also live by this quote alongside me for the rest of our lives yay”.

And then I always completely forget about it.

But––I’ve been good and written down some quotes I like, and now is the time to share a few of these with you.

Exciting times.

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To really emphasize the meaning of the first one, let me give you a bit of a backstory of why this particular quote is powerful:

Today I was walking down Sukhumvit Road, on my way to a meeting.

10-15 meters in front of me, I see a man sitting on some sort of right-below-the-waist-high wall, and I can see his ass from where I am. Immediately after the initial shock of seeing another man’s ass, I managed to ignore it, and thought it was a classic “buttcrack incident”, where the pants accidentally and unknowingly go embarrassingly low, and you put yourself on display for the whole world to see and judge you.

But something wasn’t right. Something looked weird.

It was as if he didn’t really sit on the wall––almost like his knees were bent in a 90º angle with his ass hovering in the air, not really making contact with the wall he was supposedly sitting on. Kind of like he was squatting, but not really squatting. It was very disturbing.

Once I came closer, it became obvious that this was not a classic buttcrack incident.

This right here was me witnessing the also classic “man-not-giving-a-shit-but-yet-somehow-inexplainably-still-taking-a-shit-in-public” incident. He was holding a little white bag underneath, thankfully sparing us innocent by-walkers from the glorious splatter zone.

Anyways, if you’re done judging me for taking time to notice the colour of his shit-bag, let me introduce you to the first quote of today’s post––a quote that all of humanity is credited for inventing:

“Shit happens.”

Shit just fucking happens. A very appropriate quote to apply to this particular story, and also a good way to begin this post with, and we can all relate to it somehow––hopefully not in a way that’s similar to the MNGASBYSISTASIP incident.

But still.

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“Everyone you will ever meet will know something you don’t”

– Bill Nye, the Science Guy.

This quote is cool because it tells you that you should remain (or if you’re a huge jackass; become) humble, not thinking you’re all-knowing like Yoda at all times.

You might think you know everything because you are you and you think you’re awesome and know everything––but that’s just because you’re a huge jackass.

The truth is, you cannot debunk this quote. It’s impossible. This quote is true 100% of the time.

That’s cool to know.

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“Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean nobody’s after you”

– Joseph Heller.

Delightful.

Since I’m one of the most paranoid people in the universe, this is one of my favourites. This quote both recognizes who I am, and gives credit to my claims––somebody’s always watching me.

I remember taking a quiz in psychology class in high school, and according to this hopefully-not-so-accurate quiz I showed hints of paranoia.

Unfun.

* * *

“If you’d been my employee, I’d fire you”

– Elon Musk to wife.

I’m not sure why I like this one so much. It’s just a funny thing to say to your wife.

It could be that after reading up on Elon Musk (founder of PayPal, SpaceX & Tesla Motors), reading many interviews with him, watching his presentations on Youtube, and listening to podcasts about him, I can somehow see him say this to someone as dear to him as his (now ex-)wife.

Which is funny and if you don’t agree, well, then you can go to hell!

* * * *

“This too, shall pass”

– Medieval Persian saying. Also used by good ol’ Abe before he became the president of the United States in the 19th century.

This is kind of a lame quote really, but I still like it. It’s a double-edged sword, and works both ways. If something shitty happens to you, you can just say “fuck it”, and know that the shittiness will sooner or later pass, and you will be happy again before you even know it. Similar to the “it’s always the darkest just before dawn” quote. Uplifting stuff.

Nothing lasts forever.

On the other hand, it also tells you to keep your feet on the ground when things are going unreasonably well for you. Not to sound too negative or pessimistic, but it’s important to remember that life is not always tip-top. You might have good health, wealth, and life is just treating you kind of nicely right now––therefore it’s all the more important to really pause and appreciate good times, since that too, shall pass.

Nothing lasts forever.

* * * * *

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign of?”

– Albert Einstein.

This is hilarious.

Why is this hilarious, you ask?

Well. My girlfriend likes to have her desk empty.

This quote is for her*.

Also, she cannot be mad at me since it was Albert Einstein who said this, so, yeah, I win. Na-na-na-na-naaa-na.

At least I hope I win. I’m never sure. If you don’t hear from me no more, it means that she’s killed me for implying her brain is empty.

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* = Let’s find out if she truly is a reader of this blog or if that’s just something she says to reduce my pain of not having a world famous blog less than a month after starting it.