Just Another Lackluster Post

I just came home from work and sat down in my unbelievably uncomfortable couch and started to write this very post, and I quickly stopped when I realised that I still haven’t changed from my work clothes – which means dress pants, dress shirt, and a very rad tie. It just didn’t feel right to blog wearing that – like if you put the shoe on the wrong foot, the T-shirt on backwards, or if a person says he or she doesn’t like toast. Something’s just not right here.

 

In other words, this blog isn’t worthy of dress pants, dress shirts, or rad ties. Not yet, anyway.

So, I ran to the wardrobe chair where I had folded thrown my casual shorts and casual T-shirt, changed into that, and returned to this post.

Also, just before writing this post, I recorded a 10-second video (instructions said 3) wishing a friend happy birthday, and didn’t wanna look homeless, or that I had given up on life.

My friend lives in Georgia (the country), and another friend, who lives in Russia (which, by the way, borders both Finland and North Korea – which is insane), thought it’d be cool if she collected birthday wishes from friends of the birthday girl from around the world. I gladly accepted the honour.

Since I am utterly meaningless in front of a camera, I was failing miserably to record a simple 3-second video saying happy birthday to my distant friend. I started to get all self-conscious after I both saw my face and heard my voice on video way too many times. After what I think was the 7th try, I ended up kind of satisfied with my work, and sent it to my Russian friend.

This experience made me think of how weird it is to hear your own voice, and see your face in what is not a mirror. I think I read somewhere that your brain perceives your hideous face differently when looking at yourself in a mirror versus through a camera. This explains why I was so disappointed with my face.

I’m just used to mirror-me, not camera-me.

*

Earlier, I saw two Thai guys having a conversation using sign language, and it made me wonder if it’s “the same” as sign language in any other language. Like, does the sign for “carrot cake” in the US mean the same in Thailand? Or does it translate to “blue balls”? I could see some scenarios where that could be useful knowledge.

* *

Apparently, the thumb does not totally qualify as a finger. The scientific community is divided here. Don’t ask me why I know this.

* * *

Recently, I’ve been fanatically listening to podcasts* while commuting to and from work, instead of listening to my awesome-but-now-kind-of-tiring playlists on my beloved Spotify. After discovering the fantastic Serial podcast, I’ve become addicted to this medium. Podcasts are a great way of absorbing knowledge or catching up on news, while doing something that is otherwise boring. If you watch TV, you’re kind of stuck there, unable to multitask without losing focus. You can’t really watch TV while also cooking. Not without gloriously fucking up. At least I can’t. Podcasts, on the other hand, you can listen to when commuting, cooking, exercising, cleaning, and so on. It’s awesome.

Anyway, today I listened to Star Talk and they talked about dreams, and how, in the future, humans might invent a device that lets you record your dreams on some type of memory card, which would allow you to watch or read what you just dreamt. Scary. What if others got ahold of your weird and private dreams and sold them on the black market, used them to extort you, or just looked at them without you knowing? That’d be invasive as shit. Luckily, this is not the case. Yet.

Some of my favourite pods so far: Serial, Stuff You Should Know, Star Talk, Euro Talk, and the Geek’s Guide to the Galaxy.

As you can see, some of those pods really reveal what a huge nerd I am… as if this blog wasn’t already making that painfully obvious.

* * * *

My girlfriend has urged me to write longer post than I have done so far. I’m not quite sure that’s a good idea. It’s hard to know. And I can’t really ask you guys – my fanbase – what you think. Since you, my fanbase, all know me and hopefully don’t wanna hurt my feelings, you’ll say whatever you think I wanna hear, like “yeah of course you should write longer posts, we love your stuff”, or you’ll take advantage of the opportunity to shoot me down and say something like “yeah, no, I think your posts are long enough, maybe you could try even shorter ones sometimes, and see what happens hehehe?”.

Plus, my fanbase isn’t really a fanbase if it consists of 4 people. It could be argued that you guys aren’t even fans. You guys are just one of my brothers, my father, my friend from Queens, and my sweet girlfriend, who I’m not quite sure appreciates Sriracha Sundays as much as she’s supposed to do. And I’m pretty sure you’re here to procrastinate––and that’s fine. It’s okay. I’m not hurt at all.

So, I can’t really rely on your wisdom here. I’m on my own.

My posts so far are approximately 800-1300 words long. I tend to think that the ones that are close to 800 seem too short, and the ones that are close to 1300 might be too long. Maybe I underestimate your ability to focus and concentrate. Maybe you are not stupid TL;DR’s after all. Maybe you are fans.

I might go for some longer posts soon––and I have some potentially awesome topics in mind.

* * * * *

In early May, something called “Dadbod” quickly rose to fame, making lots of guys––me included––absolutely thrilled, and also unreasonably happy with themselves. Here‘s a definition from the absolutely reliable Urban Dictionary:

A guy who has kids and was once in shape and still has guns that can crush beer cans but also with a belly that says I drank those beers and I can eat 6 slices of pizza in one seating.
Example: Check out All those chicks all over Mikes dad bod at the pool.

Clearly, a very formal definition.

Though I don’t think you need to have kids in order to be (have?) a Dadbod, this definition is pretty much right on point.

That’s awesome news. Especially since beer is so dadbodily delicious and unhealthily cheap here.

After bringing up the dadbod, I suddenly became an old man and forgot why I brought it up. So, like an old man, I say “screw it”, and move on with my life.

* * * * * *

I’ve been staring at the screen for five ten minutes now, trying to come up with a clever way to wrap up this post, but I am a way too shitty blogger for that. So you’ll just have to deal with this ending.


= If you have an Android phone, you can download the app “Podcast Addict” for free. There, you’ll find tons of content, all in various categories. If you have an iPhone, there should be an already installed (I think) app simply called “Podcasts”, where you’ll find probably the same kind of content, also for free.

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